A ghastly thing happened to me in the woods today.
So Wes and I went for a little hike up in the forest. At one point I ducked behind a tree and popped a squat to piss. The plants everywhere were long and it was a little precarious. Afterwards I said to Wes “you don’t know how easy you have it being able to pee standing up” and just as I said that, I started to feel a very weird discomfort in my crotch. I put my hand into my pants thinking maybe I had gotten a leaf in there or something. Then I started to feel a stinging sensation “fuck, did I have sunscreen on my fingers?” I wondered. Then the stinging sensation got stronger and stranger and I started to freak out – I pulled down my pants in a panic and cried out in horror as I stared down at a brownish red blob like an alien jewel bedecking the top of my genitals.
“THERE IS A FUCKING LEECH ON MY CLIT” I cried to Wes “GET IT OFF! WAIT NO GOOGLE HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY FIRST! HURRY!” Wes did a quick google search while the tiny creature, nestled comfortably under my clitoral hood, contentedly sucking blood out of my clitoris like a greedy baby vampire slug. Wes then carefully gripped the creepy little critter between his fingernails and pulled. The image of it stretching out and still sucking as Wes removed it will remain burned into my head for the rest of my life.
Worst cunnilingus I have ever received. 