“It’s a girl!” Exclaimed Adele Jones, a 53-year-old midwife whose hobbies were feminist yarn bombing and masturbating to the comments section of K–Pop videos on YouTube. Baby Katniss’s eyes shot open and she spoke in a voice as clear as vodka.
“Bitch, your breath reeks like a Ziploc bag full of rotten mince, you been suckin’ on corpse dick or what?
Instantly furious, Adele shot back
“How dare you, you pudge faced shit! I’ve half a mind to ram you right back up your mother’s manky pussy!”
“Go on then, mum’s shredded cunt and arsehole situation is a tropical paradise compared to your goat bukkake breath!”
Adele leaned over baby Katniss and spat on her tiny newborn face. Adele’s yellow mucus mingled with the blood and miscellaneous childbirth sludge that Baby Katniss was already coated in.
Baby Katniss grinned cheekily, winked at the camera and screamed “I THINK I’M GONNA LIKE IT HEEEERRE!!!!”
My phone almost ended up wearing the cereal I’m eating. Good ending